How To Make Great First Impressions: Heart-To-Heart Body Language

So in the week since I've launched the site, I've been thinking a lot about first impressions.

Specifically, I've been thinking about the first impression that people have of the site. I think Improve Your Social Skills has a lot of great content, but if nobody ever moves past the front page, nobody will ever discover what it has to offer.

The same thing is true in relationships. If you never move past "Hello" with someone, it's hard for them to get to know the amazing person that you are.

Fortunately, it's easy to make a great first impression if you know how. I have three easy tips for making a great first impression. Over the next two weeks, we'll discuss how to remember names and how to get the other person talking about their favorite topic. But first, let's explore how you can make a heart-to-heart connection using body language.

Making A Heart-To-Heart Body Language Connection

If you've read my guide on body language, you'll know that open body language signals comfort, welcome and friendliness. Those are all signals that you want to give someone when you first meet them, so make sure that your body language is open during the introduction.

To make sure you always give open body language to your partner just remember to go "heart-to-heart." By heart-to-heart, I mean that you should make sure there's a direct line between your heart and their heart. In other words, if a laser pointer was shining out of your heart, it should be landing pretty close to their heart.

I chose the heart because "heart-to-heart connection" is easy to remember, but this could just as easily be nose to nose or belly button  to belly button. The goal is for you to be directly facing them from a comfortable distance, with nothing in between you. There's nothing magical about pointing your heart at the other person's heart; "heart-to-heart" is just a great way to remember to open your body language to the other person.

However, there is something almost magical that happens when you open your body language to another person. When you go heart-to-heart, you're using your body to help create a sense of connection. You signal to the other person that they have your full attention and that you welcome friendship with them.

How To Connect Heart-to-Heart

Connecting heart-to-heart is powerful, but it's easy to do. Just turn directly towards your partner, uncross your arms and take your hands out of your pockets so there's nothing blocking your chest. You want to look focused on them and open to their interaction.

Also, you should try to move to a comfortable conversation distance. If you're not sure what makes a comfortable conversation distance, there's an easy rule of thumb. If you couldn't step on their foot by taking one big step, you're too far away.  If you can touch them without straightening your elbow, you're too close. And of course, if you're sitting and they're not, you'll need to stand up.

Chances are, when you do this, they will respond. They'll turn towards you as well, subconsciously open their body language and then the two of you will be heart-to-heart (or belly button to belly button, whatever you prefer). Even if they don't respond, they will still feel welcomed by your heart-to-heart body language, and will respond more favorable to the introduction.

When you make the effort to go heart-to-heart, you signal to the other person that they have your full attention and that you are welcoming or friendly. This goes a long way to making them feel comfortable with you and creating a great first impression.

How about you? What tips do you use for making great first impressions? What impression of yourself do you think you give other people? And what was your first impression of the site?

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4 Comments on “How To Make Great First Impressions: Heart-To-Heart Body Language”

  1. I think the best way to leave great first impression is to smile and to show people around you that you are happy to be alive and that you are open for new things,expecially for new friendships.
    My first impression about site was awesome.Everything seem so easy and simple but in the same way powerful.You did great job Dan.Thank you! 🙂

  2. Just watched your TED and clip on eye contact. Really impressed. Well done. Interested in social skills training and fine tuning for adults. Especially advice re job interviews which are often on the phone or Skype.

    In UK it currently seems unwise to admit aspergers as employers are wary and uninformed, yet a lack of verbal skills, monotone voice and general awkwardness and lack of confidence are hard to disguise!

    So have you any advice for college or university graduates about getting through the filter of first round interviews.
    Often agency staff are instructed to pre- select so are not technical specialists: they tend to choose the people they personally find likeable, interesting, easy to talk to or attractive.

    Would love some tips or us whether to mention aspergers or so I’ll awkwardness …and how to alter monotone voice to sound less dull. Thank you!

  3. One more thing I will like to add is confidence we should be well confident while talking to someone for the very first time…it leaves a great first impression …..Dan u have the best content for improving social skills and I keep on reading your content…it has improved my skills to a great extent …..thankyou

  4. Being almost 30 years old without friends, this site has really opened my eyes!

    I usually dont have a problem talking to people, but hardly ever does someone want to start a conversation with me. Aswell as it rarely becomes continous conversations, wich could lead to a friendship.

    I’ve just realised that I send out so many discomfort signals, even though I’m not uncomfertable (with the conversation that is). I rub the back of my neck, as its often sore, I keep my arms wraped around me as I’m often cold.

    Just a quick try to evaluate with the use of my colleague, hands down and turning the corners of my mouth up just a little, and I had a fabulous evening. And, they said Hi to me when we met again the day after! A huge step for me!

    Looking forward to what these new insights might bring!

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