So I go to a wonderful church called Soma. It's full of people who try to love Jesus and each other, and although they are often messy at it, there is some really beautiful stuff that happens there.
In a recent service, my pastor said something incredibly profound, and I want to share it with you.
He said that many people know that it's good to listen to yourself---you should try to understand and acknowledge the way that you are feeling. (Indeed, my section on empathy talks about this in depth.)
But it's also good to talk to yourself, because sometimes you need to speak truth to yourself.
Sometimes your emotions will be saying that you are a screw-up or that nothing matters, and you need to speak into that and remind yourself of all the people who love you and all of the good things in your life.
Sometimes your anger will be saying that another person is worth your hate, and you need to remind yourself the answer to anger is not hate but love.
Sometimes your anxiety will tell you that terrible things will happen if you try to accomplish your goals, and you need to tell yourself that your fear is lying to you.
Speak truth to yourself today. You are an incredible, brave, beautiful person, and life holds so much promise for you. Don't let fear or depression or loneliness or anger blind you to the truth of who you are.
Maybe speak truth to someone else, too.
Remind them that you care about them, and tell them about the greatness you see in them. Tell them that you are grateful to have them in your life, and tell them that they matter. Everyone needs to be reminded that they are loved and that they matter, so give that gift to someone today.
And don't be afraid to ask for that gift from someone else. If you're feeling weighed down, tell someone you need to talk. If it's too hard to speak truth to yourself, tell someone else how you're doing, and ask them to help encourage you.
We all need each other, amigos, and we all belong somewhere. Hold on to the truth of that.
It’s really important to speak to yourself.You are most important person in your life and you are your best friend.So,treat yourself the best you can.We have to know that we are all genius on our own way.Understand your negative emotions and use magic to turn them into positive! 🙂
What a wonderful message. Yes, I need to speak truth to myself. I volunteered to lead a small-group activity yesterday. There was conflict and I felt bad that I didn’t know what to do about it, so I kept my mouth shut. Somebody called me on a mistake and I felt “stupid.” But yes, I am loved, loving, and loveable. And there were wonderful moments of connection among us, even in the midst of uncertainty and conflict. Thanks.
What happens when your partner tells you they don’t want to hear those words of how much you care about them. What my partner needs from me is for me to step up to the mark and stop making stupid mistakes. I keep making silly mistakes and the harder I try not to make mistakes, I make it worse.
Maybe you should speak to a counselor? Sometimes people can get pretty upset with us, even when they love us. A counselor is an impartial person who can give you advice without getting upset, so they would be a good person to help you not make “silly mistakes” 🙂
I am about as staunch an atheist as you are ever likely to find, but this pastor of yours seems to be talking a lot of sense here. Perhaps another way to put it is that it isn’t always your thoughts that drive your emotions, but sometimes your emotions that determine what thoughts you have. Do you feel sad because you’re a worthless person, or do you feel like a worthless person because you’re sad? Depression is a lot easier to cope with when you realise it’s just a hormonal imbalance in the brain.
A lot of truth, although depression is NOT ONLY about what happens in the brain — partially it is the reaction to the external events, to the lack of something that you need. I know because I’ve been there and I haven’t forgotten how it started (moving and losing opportunities to spend as much time with friends as before).
bay the time .I feel that i would like to do something for exemple to make a relationship or to meditate and focus in my self and tell to my self that you are so important in my life but the only solution is just to ask God for everythig you wold like to involve he is lesting you and love you and feeling you very will than another one he indersand you deply so ask her and feel that you question will be answer
Very interesting piece. I really need to start speaking to myself and give myself credit.