There’s a simple trick from psychology for motivating yourself to be more social.
It’s usually used in the world of sales. Instead of asking “Do you want to buy a car?” a salesmen will ask “Would you rather buy the red car of the blue car?” No matter which you choose, you still end up buying a car.
It’s also used by parents, who ask their kids “Do you want carrots or broccoli with dinner?” instead of “Do you want to eat vegetables with dinner?” Rather than giving their kids the chance to say no, they only give their kids options that lead to healthy veggies.
You can use this trick with yourself, too. If you have a choice to be social or non-social, instead make it a choice between two social options. In other words, instead of asking “Should I go to that party on Friday night?” find another social opportunity for Friday night, and choose between those two.
For instance, you might think “Oh, there’s a new cool movie out – I could ask a friend to see that on Friday.” So now your choice is between watching the movie and going to the party, which are both good social options, instead of the party or doing nothing social.
This also works when you are already at a social setting. For instance, let’s say you’re at a party but you aren’t talking to anyone. Instead of thinking “Should I start a conversation or not?”, try asking yourself “Should I start a conversation with this person or with that person?” or “Should I join that group by the snack bar, or that group that’s playing Guitar Hero?” No matter what you choose, you’ll move towards more social opportunities.
There are two important caveats for this trick, though.Read More
